This summer I attended my first ever bator event. It was originally supposed to be the 2026 Master Bator Convention (MBC), but the formal event had to be cancelled. Thirty or so of us decided to go anyway and had an informal Midwest bator meetup weekend instead. While we planned a number of small events, lots of the time would be devoted to finding our own opportunities to connect and bate. I decided to go not only because I had already booked a flight before the cancellation was announced, but also because the smaller, more informal environment seemed like a great way to get my feet wet without being totally overwhelmed. It ended up being exactly what I needed.
It’s hard to describe how powerful I found the entire experience–not just fun, or horny, or relaxing, but incredibly life-affirming. It took me a bit of time to really warm up, but I was able to make several very intense connections while I was there. As an introvert and a bit of a socially anxious person, I often have to force myself to join a conversation when sitting back and observing is my natural state. The folks at this event were friendly and I quickly found several guys that I felt comfortable around. Conversations varied from light and casual to more deep, intense sharing about our lives. The energy in that space was special: charged with sexual energy, alive with pleasure, and aligned with our shared needs and desires.
I got into some deep conversation with someone on the first night, which led to us sharing time together to masturbate later that evening. It felt effortless, easy to deepen our connection. Very quickly, our bonding became deep and intense–as we stroked our greasy erections together, encouraging deeper penis worship, I felt a powerful connection that I rarely get with someone I just met. In my home life, I don’t often have random hookups (even though bating and bottoming are both part of my sex life) because the lack of connection is no longer very satisfying for me. To have this powerful experience of looking intensely into the eyes of another bator while we stroke each other was mind-blowing. Sharing space with someone else who only got more turned on as we complemented each other’s bodies and penises, inviting total focus on masturbatory pleasure, gave me a glimpse of just how powerful this brotherhood could be.
Thanks to our app group, I had already been chatting with another brother before the event; we were both excited to see each other in person and bate once we were in Pittsburgh. On Friday, many of the men attending went to the local bathhouse together, but I felt a little overwhelmed by the thought and decided to stay at the hotel. My new buddy also ended up staying back and we made plans to meet up in his room, a dark porn cave with multiple screens and a projector onto the ceiling. We were totally immersed and immediately our connection went deep. Body contact, sensual kissing, encouraging each other’s masturbation, huffing on each other’s pits. I lost track of time as we just went deeper and deeper. For hours, I shared this intense bond with my new bate brother before we finished. I spent hours afterward in a state of relaxation and bliss, the same kind of internal calm I can get after yoga and meditation, but even stronger.
I made other connections–physical, emotional, platonic–as the weekend went on, all of them special in their own way. An intense morning bate with a new bro, a fun and adventurous trip to dinner, a meetup with a mutual from Bluesky, all special in their own ways. Toward the end of my trip, as I was spending some time alone worshiping my erect penis, I had a bit of a realization. Despite having identified as nonbinary, rather than as a man, for over a decade, I found that I actually really liked being one of the bros. After a childhood of bullying for being the faggy fat kid, I wasn’t attached to manhood because I had never experienced one that wasn’t about destruction and control. I never had a close relationship with my father or two brothers, no positive male role models. I didn’t feel like I needed to stick to “man” since “man” hadn’t really stuck to me. So imagine my surprise when this bonding between men, this brotherhood made me feel so right and so at ease. We were creating something, building up each other and our bond to penis and each other. Connecting over masturbation unlocked a sense of healthy manhood that I’d never really felt before. I started to get what the brotherhood could be like–I wanted to be a good brother to the brothers who were encouraging me. I discovered there were more ways of touching my manhood than I realized.
No community is perfect. There are still body shamers and toxic dudebros out there. But my time in Pittsburgh filled my proverbial albo jar. It was a reminder that pleasure is for everyone and living our lives to maximize pleasure is exactly what we should be doing. Being seen as a brother by other bators got me to understand I am always becoming and I can always go deeper. Really, it was just what I needed.
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